Am I Not That Submissive in Chastity Play?

Hey there!

My girlfriend and I have gotten back into chastity play lately, which got me thinking about a few things again. Typically, I’m the one calling the shots (dominant), and I usually make the first move. However, I actually find being locked up quite enjoyable, and my gf seems to enjoy it too. So, does enjoying chastity mean I become submissive? Will this shift how she sees me in the long run? I’d really appreciate some answers since I’m feeling a bit unsure at the moment.

Instinkt

In my view, there's a significant distinction between acting on specific kinks or sexual behaviors and whether those actions define your core identity. My wife and I have been together for over 15 years, during which we've explored many different roles. We both lean toward being submissive by nature, but we also step into dominant positions because it’s enjoyable, creative, and allows us to please each other. There is also a clear difference between your external demeanor (outside the bedroom) and your preferences inside it. I tend to take charge in public or daily life, yet I sometimes enjoy surrendering control when we are intimate. Lastly, I wouldn't say that orgasm denial automatically signals either dominant or submissive traits. Playing with power dynamics is fun, but there's also an element of teasing and building sexual tension that isn't strictly about hierarchy. Various Eastern philosophies offer ancient concepts regarding periodic abstinence worth exploring. You might feel a bit confused right now, but it looks like you're having fun experimenting with new ideas, which matters most. She likely sees your creativity. As long as both of you keep each other's needs in mind, the experimentation should continue to be enjoyable.

Chastity isn't inherently "submissive," even though it is a type of bondage and involves control. It's simply more about being kinky. My wife doesn't really label herself as a "Domme," despite enjoying denying me for weeks or months at a time, plus having me wear her strapon while I'm locked up in my device. Stop stressing over the terminology. Just enjoy what you're doing.

> member_381064b05f wrote: > Chastity isn't inherently "submissive," even though it is a type of bondage and involves control. It's simply more about being kinky. > > My wife doesn't really label herself as a "Domme," despite enjoying denying me for weeks or months at a time, plus having me wear her strapon while I'm locked up in my device. > > Stop stressing over the terminology. Just enjoy what you're doing. I agree with that point about self-bondage being a significant kink for many people, which clearly doesn't require submission to another person, even if those fantasies can be part of it.