Ever Feel Panicky?

Even though I thought my earlier posts suggested relief was on the way, my wife let me know Thursday night that it isn’t happening yet. She says I need at least one more week. Initially, I felt a deep sense of disappointment. However, once she explained that her decision came from online reading suggesting I should keep hormones and similar levels elevated for longer, I actually felt quite good in an odd way: it seemed like she had shifted from skepticism to active participation. That evening, the idea of enduring yet another week (or more) of blue balls and horniness made me feel panicky. By the next morning, though, she took me to the pharmacy to check my blood pressure; it was reading 143 over 92, compared to my usual 120 over 80. I sat down for a moment to steady myself before checking again. Then it hit me: next weekend is both Father’s Day and my birthday. Naturally, she wanted me to wait until then. Realizing that was the reason helped calm me considerably. When I checked once more, it had dropped back to 120 over 80. It was a long weekend, but my energy stayed high, I felt physically strong (despite the ache in my balls), and managed to get plenty of work done. Even with the discomfort, I got through it knowing what she has planned—or at least hoping so! Has anyone else experienced that panicky sensation?

I call them "moments of desperation." Fortunately, they usually pass quickly. Sometimes there is a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can best describe as a bubbling volcano. This sensation tends to be constant though. Keeping busy with chores and activities helps distract me from being locked up.