Here I Sit After Fifteen Months of Chastity Life

Back in early November 2013, I was the king of my castle, striving to reclaim the closeness my wife and I shared before we left our long-time girlfriend. For me, emotional intimacy during sex matters more than just the physical act. Perhaps that’s what drew me toward chastity. Now here I am, chatting with my boss while my wife is out with her friends from early afternoon until late at night. She told me to wear panties and even fastened a bra onto me. My Holy Trainer hangs unnoticed between my legs as she gives me some chores to do. It has become part of my daily routine. A custom Jailbird device is on its way to me. I’ve already completed my tasks and am sitting here reflecting on how much my life has shifted in just over a year.

I have just wrapped up three months with only two ruined orgasms. My wife continues to push for zero orgasms, but when she sees that I’m struggling to endure it, she’ll allow me one as long as my current chastity period is at least a week longer than the previous one. She has gradually and steadily helped me adapt to increasingly strict periods of abstinence. Along the way, she rediscovered the joy of playing with my penis, using her vibrator less and relying more on oral sex. Chastity suits me perfectly because I value intimacy and long, sensuous foreplay. It is always my wife who rushes toward orgasm, not me; I have always taken mine after hers.

For those still figuring out whether to embrace chastity, I say keep trying but don’t overwhelm your partner with it all at once. Do it in stages—that’s what worked for me. Initially, I tried to impose a FLR (Female Led Relationship) and D/s dynamic on my wife simultaneously along with the device. She felt overwhelmed and didn’t want to become my Mistress or take charge of our marriage, thinking that going without orgasms wasn’t real sex. After some teasing and denial play first, she saw the effects it had on both me and her. Once she was hooked on T&D (Tease & Denial), I introduced the idea of a chastity device so she wouldn’t always have to monitor whether I cummed or not. Now she rarely lets me out of my Holy Trainer and actually pushed me to order this custom piece.

We work together to minimize as many pleasurable orgasms for me as possible. We both dislike how I act after having one. This only works because I know my wife will grant an orgasm if she senses it is causing me stress—for example, when there’s a lot of pressure at work. I don’t need to worry about being forced into abstinence longer than I can bear. She acts as my safety net and has never failed me in both BDSM and now chastity, so I let her push my limits without anxiety.

I notice this website attracts many men interested in chastity, most of whom are like me or others who enjoy it. We all seem to have wives who were initially reluctant to try it. Each couple found different methods to change their minds. I just want to say that you can turn a no into a yes if you find the right approach. That method isn’t about dumping a contract on her and expecting her to transform from the sweet, submissive girl you married into a whip-wielding dominatrix who wants her strong husband to become the slave she steps all over. Baby steps and showing her the positive effects chastity has on your life and marriage is the way forward. I went weeks operating on an honor system before even mentioning a device. It took months for my wife to stop feeling guilty if she didn’t make me cum every time we had sex. She still calls it fake sex, but she’s nearly lost all guilt and is becoming more assertive, no longer afraid to whip my butt when I displease her.:)