Navigating the Conflict of Chastity

I brought chastity into my marriage (bless her vanilla soul) nearly two years back. Following a lengthy evolution and plenty of searching talks, we’ve reached a stage where she accepts me being caged and occasionally plays with my cock while it’s confined. She also brings up an important point: the cage keeps her away from my penis to some degree. Sure, she holds the key, but stopping to unlock me definitely saps the spontaneity. She doesn’t really crave controlling my shaft or the rest of me; that is wholesome enough, though perhaps not thrilling.

I’ve been out of the cage for about ten days due to an irritation that popped up. We’ve enjoyed some excellent intimate time together, including PIV, which I was quite torn on. Like many here, I value the tension of holding back my cum because it feels great when I finally release. The device removes that choice from me, allowing me pleasure her without needing my own climax.

This morning I locked myself up again, leaving the key in its usual spot on the bathroom counter. I’m still feeling horny and sorting through these feelings.

Accept the conflict and understand it will be there part of the time. My wife is kinky and GGG regarding denial, and we’ve been together for over 20 years. There will likely be moments when she wants regular sex; if you want to please her and maintain balance, going a few days with reduced satisfaction is part of that reciprocity. Chastity isn’t a magic solution, and you won’t suffer too much. If she feels you are just being self-absorbed by it, she might lose interest. Most often, she isn’t as thrilled about your chastity as you are, but you’re very fortunate she is accepting. Another thing is to keep nurturing the non-sexual parts of your relationship. If she sees you working hard on things outside the bedroom, that usually helps a lot. Over time, I’ve become less obsessed with strict 100% denial for long stretches and have experimented more with simply spacing out sex, mixing in ruined orgasms, and just messing around without big goals or specific outcomes. The last year has been my best yet. Good luck!