Struggling Not To Take Charge From Below

My wife has happily participated in my chastity lifestyle for more than six years. I made an effort not to “set the tone” or tell her exactly how she should keep me locked up, allowing her the freedom to do as she wanted.

The trouble is that if I don’t ask, I rarely receive what I want. We had a heart-wrenching conversation about my needs and desires where I stammered through nearly two hours of discussion about sex. She listened, asked questions, promised to hear me out, and requested some suggestions she could use like a recipe book. Excellent! Over the next three weeks, I wrote down various scenarios ranging from her saying something for just five seconds up to being restrained and teased for a couple of hours. I put real effort into organizing these ideas so she wouldn’t have to guess my wishes or invent kinky solutions on her own.

It worked wonderfully for a month until business trips, sickness, and some family drama caused us to hit the rocks again. We had a lovely reset during a stress-free vacation that ended with intimate PIV sex. As we were leaving, she whispered, “we need to get you locked back up when we return home.” Wonderful!

After coming back from our trip and resuming our routine, things stalled out. She doesn’t worry about it the way I do. If I asked her honestly whether she minded, I suspect she’d be fine ending my chastity status entirely. When she’s in a good mood, everything is great; but when she’s distracted by the latest Netflix series… well, I’m exhausted.

I just wish I knew how to maintain this consistency without constantly begging.