Wife-Led Marriage Declared

Hello all, I’m thrilled and wanted to share this news with the group. Last night, Melissa and I were chatting and simultaneously decided to just come out and declare that we are a wife-led marriage. We’ve been moving in that direction for months now, it was becoming clear, but we hadn’t put those specific words into existence yet. It makes (and has made) a massive psychological shift for me to hear it stated so clearly. I believe Melissa feels the same way. She had been “testing the waters” by stepping up her assertiveness, but now that this is public knowledge, she can proceed with more confidence. Hope you’re all doing well, Michael

It suits us nicely; we hope you two reap similar benefits. Best wishes!

I'm happy for you both as well. I'd love to hear more (as things evolve) about the distinction between it being "official" versus when it was merely unofficial. My wife and I are comfortably settled in our unofficial phase, and I've been wondering if or when it would make the most sense to discuss making ours feel more "official". Enjoy yourselves. -A

Atone, I'm curious about how you perceive the difference? Our FLR does have a basic contract in place, but the real day-to-day details are too intricate for any detailed document because actual life often interferes. Our FLR is 'official' in that we both acknowledge its existence and CQ holds the final authority... But it isn't official in quite the same way our wedding was? When you mention being well into unofficial mode, how does that show itself? Michael< are you going to 'define' your arrangement explicitly, or just carry on as is? CQ and I tend to define things as we go along, adjusting our behaviors as needed. I think a key factor here for us is the fact that we also operate with D/s dynamics in a sexual sense too. Above all else, I am her husband and submissive, which forms the foundation of everything.

My thinking was that "official" meant both parties have acknowledged that this is what you do and what you both desire. The "unofficial" aspect is more just the ongoing reality of things playing out, somewhat like how Dev described her relationship with Ab. My wife and I haven't specifically discussed an FLR per se, although we have talked about and put into practice her taking on greater control in various areas of our life. She has become much more comfortable doing this and genuinely seems to enjoy most parts of it even though we are still figuring out exactly what being in charge means for her (even within this slice of our lives). I don't believe dropping the concept of a full FLR onto her right now would be suitable. Over time, I'm certain we will discuss it further and incorporate aspects that fit our current situation and desires. -A