Many Questions?

Greetings all… My partner has decided to step up his game and switch from the honor system to a proper chastity device. However, I’ve been looking into it and am unsure about two things: how long he should stay locked when we begin, and what kind of rules I ought to establish. I’m really enjoying this concept because I feel it will bring us nearer; having control over his sexual pleasure appeals to me greatly. Please offer some guidance… I’m feeling a bit lost:?

What was your duration with the honor system? Also, any device will likely need some "breaking in" to handle issues like chafing and similar problems.

Welcome to the community buttercup, I have never used the honor system so I'm not sure how it stacks up against being in a device. My suggestion is to start with a denial period that mirrors your usual honor system duration. The amount of time he spends actually locked will depend heavily on how long it takes to get the fit right. You could begin by having him wear the device only while you are together. This helps him adjust and adds a new layer to your shared time. Once the fit allows for 24/7 wear, you'll be in a better spot to decide which "rules" apply when locking him up. In my own relationship I am locked up around the clock unless she releases me for her pleasure. Sometimes while out, I also get an orgasm. Other times, only a little touch is allowed before being locked back up again. It's entirely her call. Have you bought a device yet? If so, which one? If not, what are your options? Also, does your boyfriend have an account here? He should join and introduce himself. -A

Hi Buttercup...and welcome! As you browse the posts here, you'll notice that everyone follows different rules, and periods of lock-up and orgasm denial vary widely. I know at least one member aiming for a year without an orgasm, while others prefer much shorter stretches (like me...currently no longer than 7 days). My wife prefers shorter cycles for both my lock-ups and non-orgasm days. We use a cb-6000s device, but we still rely on the honor system when I wear a cock ring to symbolize her control. One thing I've learned since joining is that every couple creates their own rules! Enjoy it.:)

Buttercup, My wife and I have been practicing MC for just over three months. I wear a custom-fit stainless steel device from Mature Metal. We've had it for 29 days, during which I was locked up roughly 27 1/2 of them. Like Atone, I stay locked around the clock. My wife, Melissa, usually prefers to let me out when she desires pleasure herself. She did allow me one orgasm shortly after locking began, but since then only ruined ones have been granted. If you read through the forum posts, I think you'll get a sense of how different people handle things and perhaps find a direction that suits your needs. Michael

Welcome Buttercup90, The short answer is that it depends on the device and the person. There are two methods you can use depending on how much control you want. First, let him handle the fitting and break-in period independently. Once he feels ready and comfortable with the device, hand over the key. Meanwhile, do your own research based on others' experiences regarding lockup durations. Start with shorter periods and increase until it works best for your relationship. The second option is to supervise the break-in and adjustment yourself, keeping hold of the key from day one. Some devices require frequent unlocking, removal, and thorough cleaning depending on activities and weather conditions. Others do not.

Hi Buttercup, Welcome...as others have noted, every couple establishes their own rules. My husband has access to the key (technically a screwdriver) and removes his device daily for bathing and napping. But no touching or orgasms allowed, and I trust him on this count. Many guys wouldn't be so reliable -- figuring out what works for you is part of the process. Since chastity was my idea as a woman, I've been fully involved from the start--helping choose which device(s) to buy, measuring them up, etc. I also hold complete authority over when he gets his orgasm. We started with a long denial period of 60 days, then shifted to a once-a-month cycle for the last three months. He had an orgasm last week for his birthday. The next one? Who knows, maybe Valentine's Day. Or perhaps not until spring (March 21st). I'm finding that playing it by ear suits us well. Have fun! D