A distinct motivation compared to others

I’m a single gay man living on my own. It all started with a huge masturbation addiction where I’d edge or masturbate for over twelve hours daily while watching porn, except when at work—and even then, I still managed three to five extra hours of it… My goal was simply to reclaim my life and have time for other joys. So far, the experience has been fantastic; there are just so many more hours available now in each day. Since I can’t masturbate, it barely crosses my mind at all. I feel constant arousal, but knowing nothing is being done about it feels great, and I don’t even bother trying to release myself anymore. My energy levels have skyrocketed, life feels fuller, days seem longer, and I’m happier and more peaceful with both myself and the world around me. I am perfectly content sitting quietly alone, enjoying silence or cleaning up after exercising. While I would be happy never to reach orgasm again, that decision lies entirely with my keyholder’s discretion. He has agreed to take indefinite control over this part of my life which was previously beyond my command… That is true friendship. For me, it isn’t really about the sexual play itself, although I do like having someone hold power and keep me denied indefinitely. My friend, who acts as my keyholder, is straight, and I completely accept that we will not have sex between us. For me, it’s more about having someone in charge of me whether they actively exercise that control or just leave the key there. Indirectly, holding the key means he holds authority over me; I can’t reach my penis to masturbate, and he knows this full well. Even though he understands I’m unable to have sex or release myself, he still enjoys his own sexual life with his girlfriend and masturbates whenever he pleases. I love knowing that he is in control of me. I don’t expect any sexual activity from him personally; I know my feelings toward him will evolve somewhat like Stockholm syndrome—increased empathy for him has already begun. I feel a deeper loyalty now and would do just about anything to make him happy. Knowing he isn’t interested in guys sexually, I won’t try to initiate sex with him because what matters most is keeping him content and not upsetting his preference by suggesting something he might dislike. He means the world to me as both friend and keyholder. He knows full well that this Stockholm-like effect will develop over time, yet he still chooses to keep the key for me.

The dynamics here are quite intriguing. Jnuts was explaining your situation to me (I rarely have time on these boards lately), and I wanted to encourage you to keep us posted. I’m particularly interested in seeing how the relationship between you and your friend evolves. A few of my female friends know that Jnuts wears a device, and it has shifted their perception of me even though they aren’t directly involved. Good luck!