Female led relationships discussion

“To each their own of course but I never was able to get into paying a Mistress or anyone in the sex industry, even when I was without for a long time like in Vietnam and it only cost $3.:) I enjoy pleasing a woman. Guess that is why I am a sexual submissive during sex and dominant alpha male in real life. No sense to pay a women to have me give her orgasms as more than likely they will be fake.:) Same for paying for domination. I do not submit to a woman; I surrender to her during sex play. Afterwards we both go back to our real life relationship. I also spent some time sweeping up my Uncles Strip Club. It was kind of famous and appeared on TV many times. I grew up among strippers and it opened my eyes. They made it very clear that their job was to separate men from their money by making them think they were interested in them. For gosh sake, half were lesbians and did not like men at all. I cannot enjoy any type of sex unless I know that the other person actually wants to be with me. I know me. I have been with women who were willing to have sex with me for reasons other than desiring me and I got that vibe and could not go through with it. I have to know that the other person is into me as I am into them or it does not work for me. But that is just me. So I am very curious about other’s experience with paid Mistresses or similar. How to you bury the feeling that it is all an act? Do you consider it actually being submissive because you are paying someone to do the things you want them to do to you? Not judging as if I was judged I would not come out clean at all. Things I have done make paying for sex seem very vanilla.:) I am just curious. I mean that I have turned down free lap dances and even sex because it was not being done with someone who actually wanted to do it. I must admit that in the past I have been tempted to go to a pro but eventually found someone who was into my kink of the week. Do you find it emotionally fulfilling? Did it fulfill your fetish needs? Did you do it once or do it on a continuing basis?”