Female led relationships discussion

My husband and I have been exploring the chastity lifestyle for roughly a year, making multiple tries at a female led relationship. It works well initially but often collapses eventually. I truly enjoy having power over him; it excites me deeply, and while I know this is what I want, letting go of all control is tough. The issue isn’t tied to one specific matter. Sometimes my refusal leads to bickering…or even fighting (physically harmless). It stems from a deeper place. I don’t intend to argue; looking back, I would happily yield. My main flaw seems to be communication—I speak up too late by which time the moment has passed. We are addressing this now, but once he puts up resistance, my confidence in our dynamic wavers and confusion sets in. She hesitates to voice her desires fearing it will spark another dispute. Do you have insights on handling this? How do we push past that hurdle and fully commit to an FLR? Would establishing rules beforehand help? What is your usual approach when a sub challenges your choice? How can you preserve mutual happiness while submitting to female leadership? Thank you! I expect my husband will add his thoughts shortly.