Female led relationships discussion

I want to help beginners adopt a mindset that supports bringing chastity into their relationships. They aren’t listed in any specific order. I’ll likely add more later, perhaps once I’ve seen some replies. 1/ Chastity is primarily about attitude rather than just mechanics. 2/ Your device matters for your relationship just as much as the plane mattered for your vacation. 3/ Many chastity lifestyle relationships stumble because he hesitates to commit to something that actually works. For example; wanting a trip to Bolivia but refusing to pay the airfare, so he keeps nagging his partner with dreams of Bolivian holidays. 4/ There are absolutely no set rules for Chastity within Femdom or D&S lifestyles. None at all. Do what suits you best. Oh, and feel free to be completely Vanilla if you wish. You don’t have to eat your own sperm, wear rubber or nappies, dress in a negligee, or have anything stuffed up your backside.

Thanks @Mascara^Snake for kicking off this chat. Tomorrow marks exactly two months since I first strapped on a device, so I'm still quite new to it and can't really offer authoritative opinions yet. I'm eager to see what more seasoned members have to say. That said, I honestly feel undressed without my device. The fact that my Mistress has taken over the authority to keep me locked up in the last week, rather than just me wearing it for show, is a massive change. She only allowed me to call her 'Mistress' on Saturday night, and last night she used me for her own pleasure for the first time in our 25-year marriage. Right after that, she shaved my testicles and veeted my abdomen, let everything settle, then locked me up again. Very early on I realized that chastity is more about what's happening in my head than with my penis. It begins with my attitude toward my Wife Mistress, involves handling the discomfort of wearing the device, and most crucially marks a shift in power, control, and access to self-relief through sex or masturbation within our relationship as a whole. Sex isn't everything. I can't speak much to your third point other than saying I'm trying hard not to fail here. Some relationships do falter if the Master/Mistress lose interest or weren't fully committed from the start. I also know I risked failure by moving my wife too quickly and bombarding her with information. I'm so glad you made that final point. At first, reading Tumblr memes, I thought there were countless rules to adopt. But as far as I see it, the only real rules are those the Mistress/Master find comfortable. Rules for one couple might not fit another. My wife has decreed that I can only start conversations on Saturdays unless she initiates at other times. This is to stop me overwhelming her with my thoughts and ideas. She knows about my community journal and realizes how important it is, as I need an outlet for the whirlwind inside my head right now. Our only other rule is that my Penis shall be called Penis, not dick, cock, or anything else. (She hasn't started calling it 'Her Penis' yet, but I think that's just a matter of time.) As for masturbating or pulling out to get relief, that isn't a strict rule. It would mean the end of Our Arrangement. We don't have a formal contract yet, but doing so would imply she no longer holds the keys and wouldn't be willing to remain my Mistress. It would shake her belief and trust in me, and I can't imagine letting her down like that. She's started playing with my bum for the first time and I love it, though she hasn't inserted anything yet. I hope she will, but that's up to her. With respect, looking forward to learning more. Jas (No 'sub' name yet!)