Female led relationships discussion

This is my first post after I introduced myself. I wanted to offer a bit more clarity on where things stand. My wife and I have been living in a female-led marriage for several years now. She holds full authority over me, managing all aspects of our life, including our physical intimacy. Through trial and error over the years, we’ve discovered that by withholding sex, she can partially control my mood to ensure I prioritize serving her needs above my own. Naturally, she doesn’t go without; whether through my servicing her or attending to herself independently. While I am permitted to enter her, orgasms are rare for me during intercourse. It’s worth noting that I don’t wear a device. Instead, we rely on the honour system. She has made it clear that she wants me to never masturbate and dislikes the idea of me doing so. The last time she caught me at it, she punished me and lectured about how my self-pleasure makes her lose respect for me. As time goes by, the intervals between allowed orgasms have stretched out. My longest stretch was 64 days when I last came (I suspect that isn’t very long compared to some of you guys, but it feels like a triumph for us). Currently, it has been 24 days since then. I’ve asked my wife many times before about when I’ll be allowed another orgasm, and she usually says she doesn’t know. She tends to follow her mood rather than stick to plans. I think she enjoys teasing me by keeping me guessing. Honestly, it drives me crazy because I prefer knowing where I stand, which is why I keep asking. She has always hinted that it might never happen again, but I’ve doubted that…until now… This morning was a bit different. I approached her as usual today, and she rejected my advances. I can’t recall the last time she let me take charge in bed. It’s disappointing when she does this, yet simultaneously turns me on even more. It’s quite a mind f—k. I don’t fully understand why, but the thought of never being allowed to enter her again drives me mad. Perhaps it represents the ultimate female dominance. Anyway, I digress. As mentioned, I tried the same approach this morning and was turned down as expected. In my disappointment, I asked her the usual question: when will my next orgasm be? Initially, she reacted just like always, telling me to stop asking and that she never knows exactly when things happen—it happens when it does, depending on her mood. But then she sent my mind spinning. She admitted she has no idea when an orgasm might come but is even less sure if she’ll ever let me enter her again. It may simply not happen anymore. She’s become so accustomed to having sex with me without penetration that she feels the need for it less. I’m guessing she doesn’t mean I’ll never have another orgasm, just perhaps no more entering her. The thing that really spins my head is that both possibilities excite me. Never feeling her warmth again seems scary yet propels me into sexual hyperspace simultaneously. The idea of never orgasming feels almost impossible to imagine and even less likely in reality, but the prospect of spending the rest of my life like a randy dog with two cocks is mind-blowing. My wife derives considerable pleasure from keeping me at a sexual peak, so she might genuinely mean it. Time will tell. Regardless of what happens, I’m determined to honor her wishes and avoid cheating by masturbating. Does anyone here know if living without an orgasm is actually possible? How many of you have a fulfilling sex life with your partner while avoiding penetration?