Female led relationships discussion

I often come across posts and threads from the guys here talking about how exposed they feel without their cages, or even that it feels wrong to have them off. They prefer keeping theirs on. I was chatting with @Thatgirl recently about why this seems odd to me, and she suggested I write a post since I’ve been quiet for a bit and she encourages my regular participation.

I don’t particularly enjoy the act of wearing a cage myself. What I do like is what having one does for us as a couple. It amplifies every part of our already excellent sex life. I love watching @Thatgirl discover and explore her assertive, dominant side. For me, wearing the cage is just the price we pay for those benefits. Without it, I’m not quite submissive enough to let her enjoy exploring dominance in that specific way she does when I have one on. It’s the cost of entry. And gladly so, for her.

Don’t misunderstand me. After having it on for a while, taking it off definitely feels… strange. Putting it back restores normalcy, and I understand that sensation. But for me, it’s more physical—I get accustomed to the presence, so being without it feels different, and putting it back feels right again. That’s where the feeling stops, though. I’ve been cage-free for a month while my PA heals, and honestly, the idea of going back into one is becoming less appealing by the day. As long as @Thatgirl remains firm and clear about her wishes, I’m sure I’ll go back in, but otherwise, I think I’d rather stay out now. I suppose I can’t entirely relinquish control—someone has to hold it.

So, for me at least, removing the device—or more accurately, living under the threat of having to keep it on—is what drives my submission, or at least reinforces and encourages those natural submissive feelings that rise up simply because that particular piece is locked away. That brings me to my curiosity: If wearing a cage is an enjoyable experience in itself, how can it be used as a tool for control by the key holder?