Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

I’m fairly certain this question has come up before, and although I’ve gone through much of the material on this site, I haven’t hit upon what I need yet. My wife and I have been dipping our toes into FLR/Femdom; we’re both quite fresh to it all. Through reading, I know more than she does, but simply ordering her around doesn’t seem to work well. She’s keen to learn how to be a mistress while keeping me as her slave or maid. We own plenty of props and outfits, yet we still struggle to get things rolling. We aren’t extreme S/M folks, but we’re open to most other things. What we really need is a place where she can chat with fellow mistresses and pick up tips on being a good one. A lot of what’s out there feels like pure fantasy; I found this forum recently, and it looks promising.