Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

My desires as a submissive, which center largely on chastity and FLR, have sparked some tension in my vanilla engagement.

She claims she wants to understand me, but I struggle to explain it clearly. I’ve told her that while many of my fantasies involve sex, they aren’t exclusively sexual—they go much deeper than that. She remains skeptical and insists I prove this point directly from myself, not by quoting books or websites.

I’m unsure how to convey the depth of these feelings without being dismissed; she often counters everything with a rebuttal. For context, we are both virgins and engaged. She prefers to delay discussions about sex until after our wedding, though she might consider it later.

Despite my best efforts, I keep bringing up the topic, which frustrates her and leads to raised voices. My biggest fear is that she won’t accept my fantasies. It feels like a choice between her needs and mine—I choose her because I love her deeply, but it’s difficult.

I know many others struggle with partners who aren’t onboard. How do you manage? Is there a way for these desires to fade or become manageable? Any advice on how to demonstrate that my wants are more than just sexual without making her uncomfortable?

She prefers we solve things ourselves rather than relying on external sources, which feels limiting right now. She has a stronger personality and leans toward being dominant in this dynamic, so I often feel intimidated when discussing it with her.