Female led relationships discussion

in the last two weeks I have found a new determination to try again with chastity. The last time I made an effort was about 2 years ago. Since fitting my holytrainer roughly 12 days ago, it has felt so good and like the right thing to do once more… .I’ve spent many hours reading on this forum and other sites for anything that might help my wonderful wife. She tolerates me wearing the device but doesn’t show much else in interest. During a recent search I found an old Net Doctor thread about male chastity where I had contributed back in 2009. I realized now, as then, I am saying very similar things. It actually made me feel a bit sad that these desires have been with me for so long yet the subject has remained difficult to discuss with the most important person in my life.

About 18 months ago I bought the book Restart Intimacy by Sierra Parker. I quickly thumbed through it and put it away in a drawer. It probably gives great advice, but looking back I guess I was seeking more titillation than guidance. Yesterday I had that light bulb moment. For so long I have been self-indulgent; with my busy life, I’ve realized that the intimacy required to make this work takes considerable effort. It’s easy to get bogged down in daily routine and forget what makes living with my wife so wonderful. Once I entered my forties and my libido began to wane, I lost sight of intimacy. It is easy to pleasure myself and take the relationship for granted.

While on holiday this summer we shared a romantic evening together and both decided we should make time for each other more often. We chose one night per week as our own little date night. Back from holiday, we settled into our previous routine. Despite years of reading advice from men and women here and elsewhere, I realized it wasn’t all about me. I do most of the cooking, am happy with household chores, massages, etc., all things many list as benefits of male chastity. What has been missing is intimacy; what we need is intimacy. Last night my wife returned home after a night out with friends—I’ll spare you the details—but we had an intimate time together. When she came to bed I was lying there naked except for my holytrainer, and she didn’t freak out at all. I had the strongest erection in years and the most intense orgasm. As we lay there it hit me: making each other feel special is what’s been missing; it is the touching and caressing during those special intimate moments that matters. Being in chastity for 12 days helped me realize where I’ve gone wrong for so long. It has been staring me in the face since those early Net Doctor postings, yet I didn’t see it. Sorry if I’ve rambled a bit but I needed to express my thoughts; this place is one where I feel safe doing so. The only question remains: do I dig out the Restart Intimacy book again and share it with my wife?