Female led relationships discussion

I am a forty-year-old man engaged to a wonderful woman. For the past few months, I have been starting to let my wife take charge, but it is challenging for me. She is very traditional and has no knowledge of BDSM or chastity. I find it hard to speak openly with her about my desires, and I am quite careful when mentioning FLR because I do not want to confuse her. What is the best gradual method? Some suggest that I start by handling all the housework, learning to cook, and allowing her the final say in arguments; would you consider this a good approach? Am I right to accept that if she takes control, some kinky elements might be absent if they are not something she wants?