Female led relationships discussion

Alright, everything here is new territory for me. My on-again-off-again partner of five years (let’s call him TGT) first mentioned his cuckolding fantasy three years back while he was engaged to someone else. We’ve been ‘on’ again for a few months now, and during that time I’ve decided against cuckolding because it just isn’t my thing right now. Then he brought up chastity and showed me his cage (which fits poorly), which caught my interest. A month ago we tried our first session with the cage, and goodness! That was exactly what had been missing from my sex life all this time!

Then, my estranged mother passed away, causing quite an emotional rollercoaster for me, and he pulled back a bit. I do genuinely love this man—have for years—and as of tonight, he’s said he wants exclusive, casual friends-with-benefits with me. That works for me; we live 25 miles apart, both our jobs keep us busy, but I trust him completely (I’ve literally trusted my life to his hands before).

So where on earth do I begin?? I’ve read plenty of websites and am discovering my Domme side, but how do I actually get started? He’s a sub looking for humiliation but tends to bottom-top when he gets frustrated. I won’t see him for a couple of weeks while sorting out the funeral (he’s at the other end of the country) and I want to really impress him next time we meet. We have the basics covered—we have amazing sex, and we both agree it’s the best either of us has ever had—but how on earth do I control a sub who’s been dreaming about this for years, give him what he wants, and still figure out what I want/need?

And yes, I know we probably should be in a more stable relationship, but I’m leaving the country at year-end. We’ve agreed that now is our best chance to work through things and find out if our individual boats float before we’re gone for good. Think of it as my entry-level FLR:-)