Journals and blogs discussion

Considering my age and single status, I feel like a minority here. That said, I am definitely looking to close that gap soon. Honestly, I can barely picture any woman being drawn to me given how much of a sissy I’ve become. We all have lives that drift from our fetishes, but I sense the essence of who I am has taken root in every part of my life.

I don’t want to sound cliché; I know exactly where I stand in the sexual hierarchy, and there is no resentment or self-pity—just acceptance. I date occasionally, but how can I enter a relationship without being comfortable revealing this large piece of myself? It feels unfair to me, but more importantly, it’s not fair to them.

Sometimes I tell myself that perhaps later in life will bring an opportunity built on trust between sheets. After all, even with my sissy side accepted, sexuality doesn’t solely define who I am. I like to believe the sissy part of me has matured beyond just being horny when the mood strikes. Like many of you, I’ve learned to separate fantasy from reality. It wouldn’t be right to use any woman I’m interested in merely as a vessel for certain fetishes. On the flip side, though, I can’t see a relationship growing purely out of shared kinks; it feels somewhat artificial.

I find myself stuck in this sexual and social quagmire. When left alone with my thoughts, I truly don’t know what to do. May God strike me down if ever I make a post demanding things be done for me while disguising it as an offer of a Long-Term Relationship. I realize there is some truth to that dynamic. I whole-heartedly believe in FLRs (Female Led Relationships) and see people “living the dream.” My view on FLRs isn’t just about lowering my status; rather, I feel they are more about celebrating women and gender as a whole. As a self-proclaimed feminist, there are moments when I worry I am fetishizing a genuine movement, but I’d like to think my intentions remain authentic.

Maybe it’s just where I’m at right now. I’m the last one still single without children. That doesn’t mean I even want kids. I simply hope I can sort things out and run with them.

FULL DISCLOSURE: this post, along with all future ones, will be a mish mosh of rambling that might make no sense whatsoever.