Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

We are a married pair who both like chastity but haven’t found success yet. My wife acts as the domme in our dynamic, and after having our son, we managed five months of being locked up. She gave me ruined orgasms every other time we had intercourse, which worked well for us. Naturally, transitioning from high sexual activity to parenting a baby played a role too. My wife mentioned that two orgasms per year would be her ideal scenario—fair enough if they happen at Christmas and on my birthday. We have experimented with tapering down the frequency, going cold turkey, and currently, we are six weeks in where I only get handjobs in the shower because I feel unworthy of an internal release. Our PIV sex during these six weeks is excellent, though I am somewhat frustrated since I don’t particularly enjoy those particular orgasms. My wife feels sympathy for me and suggested returning to normal sexual patterns even as I try not to complain; however, I know she desires to deny me further, aiming for two annual releases while showing care. I want so much to grant her wish, yet PIV orgasms with my wife feel heavenly. Today I proposed we attempt one orgasm per month internally, along with ruined orgasms every other time going forward. She worries I might become irritable, so she is somewhat reluctant. We seek advice from both KH members and slaves: How can we make this work? We need to eliminate her guilt while allowing me to surrender the pleasure I love but still wish for any ideas or suggestions? We possess a cage which we use occasionally. Initially, my wife preferred that I wear it daily because she liked how it felt, even though she is faithful; however, she now rarely instructs me to wear one since the visible bulge might be noticeable and I work as an educator. She loves when I put on the device and simply hand over the key.