Female led relationships discussion

Many men appear to believe they are submissive, yet “dominant bottom” might be a more accurate label. I came across this article which is also relevant for chastity … “There’s no reason that an individual couldn’t be highly interested in receiving pain and enjoying bondage while having little interest in giving up control. This may seem contradictory if you cling to the idea that actions hold inherent meaning, but letting go of that makes perfect sense. For instance, a dominant woman with some masochism can order her submissive partner to spank her exactly where, when, how hard, and for as long as she desires; she is clearly in charge. Receiving pain doesn’t magically make you submissive if you are directing the person giving it, just as giving pain doesn’t automatically make one dominant if they follow instructions precisely. As long as everyone understands their desires and can communicate them, all is well! Complications arise when people fail to consider what they truly want. Consider a common example in the female dom community: if a man with a strong fetish for bondage and pain play assumes his preferences mean he is submissive, he will likely annoy every dominant woman he tries to direct, ending up lonely because he cannot find a ‘true’ dominant partner. This doesn’t make him a bad person (though I really want to slap that guy on the head and urge honesty), nor does it make the doms who leave him bad people; it simply means poor self-awareness hinders finding good relationships. Furthermore, even genuinely submissive individuals often wish to enact their fantasies exactly as visualized. Would you enter a scene thinking, ‘Let’s avoid all that usual stuff!’? I wouldn’t. Fixating on executing a specific scene correctly doesn’t preclude someone from being submissive while bottoming, but it does require them to work harder to prove they care about my needs too. If you are a dominant bottom, excellent! Well done for knowing your mind and seeking compatible partners. I might even enjoy topping you if our kinks align and you can get through the scene without trying to command me. However, this only holds true if you know what you want. If you’re a dominant bottom who is unaware or unwilling to admit it, life will be tough until you sort yourself out. Good luck!” Full article here: