Female led relationships discussion

I got some pushback in a different thread for talking about something my dominant wife does that actually repulses her. Reflecting on this, it brought up the question at hand. From what I’ve observed here, there’s been plenty of discussion focused on what the sub should do, with a heavy emphasis on avoiding topping from below. But rarely is the dynamic flipped around like this. So I thought I’d pose the query.

My wife and I see ourselves as part of an FLR where she holds the dominant role and I am submissive. If she were to name what she loves most about our setup, they would be: 1) The closeness and attention I give her, 2) Her increased orgasms and sexual liberty, and 3) My service around the house. Notice that none of these are things she does to me. In fact, if she listed her three least favorite aspects, the first would easily be my surly, non-compliant behavior after an orgasm, followed by having to make me eat cum and pee on her.

So, being dominant, why should she endure doing things that don’t bring her joy? Why does she do them? For us, the answer is simple: she performs certain acts for their effect rather than her personal enjoyment. It’s comparable to visiting a doctor. The process of going, sitting, and waiting can be painful or tedious, and then you get stuck with needles when it’s your turn. Not exactly fun, right? Yet we go because the result matters. I couldn’t truly feel submissive if she didn’t do things that evoke that feeling in me. She gets this and takes initiative accordingly.

I don’t mean to dismiss any other dynamics here. To my mind, this is the core of a dominant-submissive bond. If no one dominates you, how can you submit? Are you truly submitting if you just comply with whatever request or command comes your way? And if we didn’t need dominants to actually dominate us, why are any of us locked up at all? I know what works for me, but I’m interested in hearing from both sides: what works for you?