Female led relationships discussion

As the submissive I often feel like my interactions with my dominant are complicated. Not the bedroom stuff, but the day to day. In trying to look at it from her perspective I have noticed that I am not that straight forward either. How and when the roles are used, displayed, and negotiated are not always fixed. My conclusion is the chastized sub is more complicated given the struggle between submission and independence that is always present. Is complicated a desirable trait? Which role is more complex? What do you think?