Introductions discussion

It’s about time I joined the conversation. My partner and I have been together for roughly a year, and we’ve dipped our toes into Femdom FLR dynamics. He’s spent periods in lockup while we’ve explored pain play (mostly spanking, though we recently added a crop and flogger to the mix).

I’ll confess that this isn’t entirely my “thing,” and some aspects don’t quite resonate with me. That’s often where our friction lies. I tend to be shy when discussing sex on a personal level; ordering him around sexually doesn’t come easily for me. Plus, I worry it might just be a crutch for him—that his attraction depends heavily on being denied.

I’m interested in the concept but don’t feel much drawn to orgasm denial. My connection with him feels strongest during intercourse, and I’d hate to lose that. Knowing he’s sexually satisfied does turn me on. Sometimes I keep him locked for up to ten days, but by then, my own sexual frustration builds. While I enjoy oral sex and can reach an orgasm through it, I really miss Penetrative/Vaginal (PinV) intimacy.

I love him deeply and want to get more comfortable with his kink, though I’m not sure how to bridge that gap yet. It’s certainly not a dealbreaker for me; it just doesn’t feel completely natural right now.

Am I the only one feeling this way? How did other KH members learn to embrace it?