Female led relationships discussion

Hello everyone, I’m new to this forum and want to say first off that it’s a great place with wonderful people. I’m really glad I found it. I have a small issue where I could use some advice. For background, I’ve been married for 9 years and came out as submissive about 4 years ago. We’ve had an FLR on and off since then. My goal is to reach Level 4, but since my wife was vanilla before this, we’re currently around a 2.5, though that’s not the main point. We have experimented with chastity intermittently, and my longest lock-up lasted 35 days. We are restarting it now and investing in a sturdy metal cage to prevent pullout. I really want longer durations so I can truly sink into subspace, but here is where I hit a snag. My wife REALLY enjoys penetration during sex. While oral brings her there repeatedly, she tells me constantly that she prefers the real thing. I even tried using a strap-on but it didn’t feel quite right to her. I simply cannot have intercourse with her without letting go, especially if I’ve been locked up for any length of time. So, inevitably, I finish and the cycle begins again. Any suggestions on how I can broach keeping myself chaste and subish, or should I just let it be? Thanks in advance.