Female led relationships discussion

For nearly ten years, we’ve seen people wonder how to get their non-kinked wives to hold the key. We focus so much on what to say that we forget about what not to mention.

Every couple’s dynamic is unique and can’t be boiled down into a few lines for us to fully grasp. You know her best, though. Generally speaking, if you worry she will absolutely despise having control over your member, it’s likely true. I’m not claiming she won’t give it a shot, learn the ropes, or find pleasure in it. But seeing how chastity works in practice gives you a solid preview of her response.

Here are some tips to keep close rather than shouting out:

1. If you stay locked up, I’ll be constantly aroused and will help more around the house while treating you like royalty. -Their immediate thought is usually: why can’t you do those things for me without being so worked up? It’s a fair question, and the answer isn’t particularly charming…because we are selfish, lust-driven creatures with little restraint. Chastity may indeed make you a better mate, but they really don’t want to hear that their input is so minimal that you need physical restriction to behave.
2. Don’t gift them a chastity cage. -I can’t emphasize this enough. Unless she brought up the topic first and you are the hesitant one in this scenario (meaning it’s your desire), giving her a tool primarily meant for your benefit as a present will rub her the wrong way. Imagine I love food, so Happy Valentine’s Day darling, here is a new stainless steel cooking set to prepare my meals. You’re welcome.
3. Here is the agreement I prepared. -Nothing sounds quite as intimate and alluring as the formal language of an amateur legal document. It can easily overwhelm someone. Setting boundaries, safeword usage, or when to check in on progress is acceptable; stating expectations is too. But putting it all down on paper—what you will do, what she must do, consequences for specific actions…she feels more restrained than you are before the journey even begins! If she’s up for it, contracts can be enjoyable. However, if she is traditional and this is unfamiliar territory, a contract looks like labor.
4. You’re handling it incorrectly. -Nothing destroys confidence faster than being told you aren’t doing something right. If she is tentatively trying something out of love for you, she cannot possibly be wrong.
5. I want. -I wish to remain locked, I wish to release, I wish for teasing, I wish for tease and denial, I wish strictness, I wish punishment, I want, I want, I want! You have your needs, but because she is doing you a favor by indulging this hobby, she holds the final vote. Want more lock time? Too bad. Just some relief via teasing? Too bad. For now, and until she feels comfortable discussing these matters and hearing your fantasies, it’s her rules or nothing. At least until her confidence builds…try not to be a jerk. I’m aroused. I’m really turned on. So excited! Aroused! -She knows you are hot for her; she sees the evidence. She even enjoys knowing that you desire her so deeply. But she doesn’t want this update every hour, nor does she want it to dominate your conversations or feel like a duty to manage. This concern will weigh more heavily on your mind than hers. A good rule: if you bring up chastity, sex, or longing twice without getting a warm reaction, wait for her to initiate before mentioning it again. My device is -Refer to the post above, but amplified even further. She has zero interest in your day-to-day complaints about your cage. She simply wants to know if you are well and if something is wrong. Add more everyone, there is quite a bit of advice on what not to say or do. Sometimes I ask myself why we have to explain that gifting a very shy traditional partner a chastity device for Valentine’s Day or an anniversary is actually a good idea.