Female led relationships discussion

I’d love to hear your discovery tales. Did you try out various sexual styles before finding chastity? I can’t quite recall how it entered our lives, but for me, I mentally and emotionally embraced it easily. And piggy has always leaned toward the submissive role, so that’s a WIN WIN❤

I was scrolling through porn when I happened upon something related to chastity. Then I found and read their content, which helped me realize I needed positive changes in my life (like stopping the porn watching and masturbation) and becoming more devoted to my wonderful wife. We've always been best friends with deep love for each other, and I felt I owed her better than what my behavior suggested. It was tough explaining why I thought chastity would benefit us; it actually took a well-written book on male chastity before my goddess agreed. Since she said yes almost 4 years ago, we haven't looked back. There have been many ups and downs during that time, but our journey has been wonderful overall, and I've learned so much about myself through Chastity—it's how I realized I am truly a submissive. My wife hasn't had as much opportunity for self-discovery as I have. She was in graduate school throughout our entire journey; she enjoys the benefits chastity brought her but was too busy to fully explore our lifestyle. After this spring semester, she'll be finished with school and finally free of it, giving us more time together which we've both been anticipating for a long while.

Okay, I'm not giving my Miss enough credit. She's an incredible domme, but we rarely have enough time together for her to demonstrate it. When she does step into that role, she can really astonish me:)

> Wonderwomanssub said: > I was scrolling through porn when I happened upon something related to chastity. Then I found and read their content, which helped me realize I needed positive changes in my life (like stopping the porn watching and masturbation) and becoming more devoted to my wonderful wife. We've always been best friends with deep love for each other, and I felt I owed her better than what my behavior suggested. It was tough explaining why I thought chastity would benefit us; it actually took a well-written book on male chastity before my goddess agreed. > > Since she said yes almost 4 years ago, we haven't looked back. There have been many ups and downs during that time, but our journey has been wonderful overall, and I've learned so much about myself through Chastity—it's how I realized I am truly a submissive. My wife hasn't had as much opportunity for self-discovery as I have. She was in graduate school throughout our entire journey; she enjoys the benefits chastity brought her but was too busy to fully explore our lifestyle. After this spring semester, she'll be finished with school and finally free of it, giving us more time together which we've both been anticipating for a long while. > > Click to expand... You two sound very much like my partner and I, though I assume you're younger than us. I wish we had found this earlier because I wasn't entirely happy with some aspects of our life back then either—especially the constant porn watching and masturbation. I'm sure once your wife is done with school, things will ramp up BIG TIME! Wishing you continued happiness.

I saw it in porn and wondered how much better an orgasm would feel if there were weeks or even a month between them instead of days or hours. That proved to be true. I eventually realized I didn't mind the denial and found myself more productive when not masturbating, so I thought, "why bother with the orgasm and those uncomfortable first few days in lockup?"

> BKwife said: > You two sound very much like my partner and I, though I assume you're younger than us. I wish we had found this earlier because I wasn't entirely happy with some aspects of our life back then either—especially the constant porn watching and masturbation. I'm sure once your wife is done with school, things will ramp up BIG TIME! Wishing you continued happiness. > > Click to expand... We started when I was 30 and she was 29. I'm glad we began at that time because I don't think I would have been mature enough for chastity if I had been any younger. Thanks for the kind wishes;)

I've posted before, but it's been a while. So.... Many years ago, I was invited to a CFnm tea party. One of the men there wore a CB2000k. I'd seen pictures of full belts and found them interesting, but seeing that plastic device actually being worn by someone else was something quite different. Seeing it all made me wonder why? I managed to chat with him briefly; while I thought it seemed odd, something about it resonated. Anyway, long story short, a few months later I got one and began experimenting. Now, nearly 20 years on, I'm locked in an MM Jailbird loving/hating the experience!

My first exposure was a scene from Californication. My initial reaction was why would any guy even consider doing this. Now, several years later, I am that guy. Six months ago, I still would have been baffled as to why anyone does it. I'm not sure what made me change my mind, but here we are, with me trying to get my wife interested...

It began because I was frustrated by how often I masturbated while my wife had little interest in sex. I started looking for ways to stop myself from jacking off and found chastity. It took a few months of thinking it over before I talked with my wife, and we bought our first device. Like many men here, I am fully on board; even now, I'm trying to show the benefits of chastity for her as well as me. It's a slow process, but one we are generally happy to be part of.

I was deeply involved in the BDSM scene from my late teens through my mid-20s. Early on, I did some crafting and vending at conventions; eventually, I spotted welded cages being sold by other vendors. I am certain I had read about them in fiction or similar sources back then too—it feels like a long time ago now. But shortly after that, I had my first experience with steel wrapped around my cock. I was friends with a female vendor who invited me to spend weekends at her place with her and her Master. The Master enjoyed having a Ken doll alongside his Barbie:) They were both older than me and clearly more experienced, showing me "the ropes" if you catch my drift! Later, the Master had a skilled Domme friend who flew in for a weekend. Naturally, I was delighted to be handed over to this experienced dominant woman whom I barely knew. On Saturday, we went out for the day while wearing an unusual accessory: one large steel ring secured by several smaller ones, ending with a slightly tighter ring at the tip. At that point, I didn't fully grasp what a predicament device was; I thought it might be some CBT mechanism and couldn't see why this lovely lady in black leather insisted I wear it out in public under tight women's jeans all day (I am tall, skinny, have long hair, and my gender presentation is quite fluid). As a horny guy who loves new kinks, I was happy to go along with it—but I ended up taking on more than I expected! I didn't realize at first that it served as a control tool rather than just an ouchie device like a nipple clamp. We visited a leather-friendly bar for lunch and drinks, then stopped by a stripper shoe store while my cock was jammed into those rings, possibly harder and fuller than ever before during the whole trip! The bar opened up in the early afternoon with just us four people plus the bartender. The Domme had great fun explaining my predicament to him and pointing out the obvious bulge (accentuated by the ring ribbing) in my tight jeans. I felt intoxicated by her confident claim, "that's mine." My head spun from the non-stop erection and its effect on my brain. I clearly remember the bar having many synchronized TVs playing raunchy clips and music videos; when Armand Van Helden’s *Know My Name* video came up, all four of us watched as people queued up for spankings in it. None of us had seen that specific clip before, but naturally, the Domme was inspired by it, knowing I would soon receive some OTK spanking. By mid-visit, I felt a strong hyper-horny state. Afterward, we headed to the stripper shoe store. I was a total hot mess because of the predicament device. The Domme bought herself nice heels (of course), and I wanted some too. We chose 7-inch matte black size 13 heels for me. Before buying them, she made me walk around in them while strutting with the girls who were running the shop, seeing *everything* that was going on. It is a stripper shoe store after all, so they had likely seen it all before, but I think the staff mentally high-fived the Domme for controlling such a young boy toy like that. Looking back, I am surprised I could walk in those heels given my mental state; perhaps the endorphins from exhibitionism kept me focused enough not to trip over myself. The ride home was quite long, and I remained a blathering mess due to overstimulation from the device and all the events of the day. The Domme astutely noticed this and cradled my head in her crotch, playing with my hair during the journey back. While I’ve had amazing connections before, the emotions of that entire day—exacerbated by the device and the aftercare on the way home really stayed with me. I was *fried* well into the evening. The predicament did to me in a few hours what a cage usually does over a week. It was an exciting introduction to genital control! Since then, I have been very interested in toys that manage sex: rings like rope-like bindings, dildo panties, chastity belts and devices, etc. There is no cleaner power exchange dynamic than these types of accessories. It’s like playing sexual chess, but your partner gets to move your pieces too.

As a person, I have always exhibited submissive behavior towards women. Additionally, I have always been drawn to all forms of restriction. Even in my early youth, I would tie myself up—not for sexual reasons; I simply enjoy the sensation of being restricted. Later on, it certainly added arousal as well, around the same time we gained access to the Internet. I discovered IRC groups and Fora, starting conversations about bondage and BDSM with others. I experimented quite a bit. Then came an online contact (a dominant girl) whom I chatted with frequently; she introduced me to chastity devices, telling me how much she loved them and the powerful feeling they provided her. Up until then, my idea of male chastity was... full belts for women... I never considered men wearing a full belt either... nor did I know about all the other ball-trapping designs. Commercially speaking, the CBxxxx series were the easiest to obtain. From that point on, chastity began to intrigue me, though it took several more years before I purchased my first CB6000. Since then, I have experimented with the CB6000, Bon4 silicone, Bon4M small, and the Bon4Micro. While single, I also explored online Key Holding. Currently, I wear one daily, but not at night unless I am alone; in that case, I do keep it on overnight. My wife isn’t deeply into chastity play, although she is aware of my submissive side and bondage gear. We all need to maintain faith;-) ... In the end, I am convinced she will discover—or be persuaded by—the positive side effects of being a Key Holder.

I am fairly certain my entry into chastity is quite unique. I have written about it previously, so here is the short version... I asked for and received permission to modify my penis. I wanted a split glans with an ampallang piercing, featuring a ball in the middle holding the two halves of my glans apart. I had seen modified penises on Tumblr and found them very appealing. The issue was that my Wife reacted quite poorly to the split glans initially. For three days, I thought she might divorce me—it was so bad. At the same time I researched genital modifications on Tumblr, I also encountered chastity devices. I offered to wear one for her sake—not necessarily to remain chaste, but to control my urges while completing the modification and hiding what I had done from her view. She agreed, although she thought it was a bit odd at the time. It took her six months to truly take full control, after which everything clicked into place. We have been doing this for just over three years now. I am currently fully chaste; my last denial period lasted exactly six months, with an average minimum of two months per cycle. This year alone, I had only two orgasms. We discovered and transitioned into a full FLR: she is becoming more Dominant while I grow increasingly submissive. Like many others here, I wish I had found this path earlier—at least ten years ago. This holds true despite my belief that if I had started sooner, my chastity would be permanent by now, as that seems to be the trajectory she is taking me on.

I will say most people could probably guess how I first encountered it: I stumbled upon it in furry porn years ago. At first, my feelings were mixed, but the more I saw of it, the more interested I became until I did extensive research on the subject and it slowly evolved into the kink that interests me most. While I certainly didn’t have "gotta find someone to hold my key" firmly in mind when seeking a relationship, mine actually started with chastity.

I think I shared this ages ago. During a business trip to Philadelphia, I stopped into an adult book and sex store. My wife and I both enjoy mild bondage, though she prefers leather over rope. I noticed a steel and leather cage with a padlock that looked like it would be fun for us. Anyway, I bought it. At the time, I was the dominant partner in our relationship. On that same trip, I visited another shop where you could spend about 20 minutes playing with girls in the back area. I picked the bondage-themed room, expecting to tie up a girl, but she quickly explained it worked the other way around. Since I had already paid, I went along with it. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and had a very strong orgasm. After bringing my new toy home and experimenting with it, I discovered that I actually liked being locked inside it. That was when our roles began to shift. At that point, though, I didn't realize this device was called "chastity". A bit of internet searching led me to some interesting forums that have since gone extinct. I also found Altairboys's site and learned the proper name for this kink. I made a somewhat successful attempt at crafting my own chastity device. Then, finally, I got my hands on a CB-2000! It was fairly successful because it allowed me to stay locked up for long stretches—once lasting six months. Later, I picked up a used Neosteel Sport Belt that fit somewhat well. Unfortunately, as I gained some weight, it no longer fitted. I then tried the CB-6000, but found it was a bit large on me, so I switched to the 6000s cage. That device worked nicely for me until the cage started splitting and I began breaking the ball trap ring. Then I discovered Custom Chastity and purchased their Leopard device. Once I got used to its texture, I found it to be an excellent choice, suitable not just for short term but also long-term use. Last year, some health issues arose with my gall bladder. After having it removed, something shifted in my body chemistry, making it difficult now to wear the cage for more than a few days at a time. Anyway, that brings me up to date. Like many others here, I am still hunting for that perfect device!

I saw an image of a cage on Instagram and it caught my eye so I started looking for more. They were the standard CB plastic cages, but they all seemed too large for my 'turtle'. Then one day I spotted a metal microcage—the style with full cover faucet design. My heart leaped at the idea that something might actually fit me properly. When the thought of handing over the key to someone else crossed my mind, I was hooked. I have been experimenting with various cages to find the right fit. Right now I don't have a significant other, but when I do get one, I know chastity will come up because I want it to be part of our relationship.

> tecolote said: > My initial exposure was an episode of Californication. My initial reaction was why tf would any guy even think about doing this. > Now, several years later, I am that guy. Six months ago, I still would have been flabbergasted why anyone would do this. I have no idea what got into me to change my mind, but somehow here we are, with me trying to get my wife interested... > Click to expand... Good luck enticing her.