Female led relationships discussion

Leadership is an active choice, not just a quiet acceptance of respect and hard work. We all navigate Leadership by either following or leading, with many of us doing both roles depending on the situation. At my job, I take charge: I define what success looks like, watch over how employees and contractors perform, and hand out duties according to their abilities. My sailing life offers another example; sometimes I’m in command as skipper, other times I serve as crew. The worst kind of skipper is the one who constantly yells. While shouting has its place on a boat under specific conditions, someone who screams all the time usually does so because they’ve failed to lead effectively—they haven’t prepared their team well enough or anticipated what comes next. Anyone who has led before knows there’s a delicate balance between micromanaging and being too hands-off; the former pushes away capable followers, while the latter invites disorder.

I realize I sound like I’m giving a Dale Carnegie talk here, but this leads to an important point: Can we call it a FLR if she doesn’t actively exercise her leadership? If I do the laundry, cook dinner (and all those other chores) because I genuinely want to act as her sissy maid, isn’t that actually more of an MLR? That’s been my main struggle with this lifestyle. It works beautifully when it does work, but only if she takes charge. I can’t feel like this is where I belong unless she confirms it by leading me. She doesn’t need to guide me toward a destination I desire; I just need her to lead period. This dynamic draws me in strongly: I’m tired of always being the one in control and want someone else to take that role so I can obey.

I’ve put myself back under lock at her request this time, without pushing for it. Weeks ago, when we took a break from locking up, I told her simply: when you’re ready to lead, I’ll be ready to follow. I’m not sure if things will change now, but without that active L (leadership) from her, do we really have an FLR?

Best of luck! Just remember to be careful what you wish for!

> PouchPantyLover said: > Leadership is an active choice, not just a quiet acceptance of respect and hard work. > Click to expand... > PouchPantyLover said: > Can we call it a FLR if she doesn't actively exercise her leadership? If I do the laundry, cook dinner (and all those other chores) because I genuinely want to act as her sissy maid, isn't that actually more of an MLR? ... I can't feel like this is where I belong unless she confirms it by leading me. She doesn't need to guide me toward a destination I desire; I just need her to lead. > Click to expand... This touches on the core issue in many discussions here, especially regarding men who feel left behind or adrift, hoping and waiting for their wives to step up with more consistency. Often, I sense that she is merely indulging me, going along with things when really it's I who want to go along—following close behind her. It’s not just knowing this is what she wants; it's wanting to feel the pull of training into becoming a better submissive husband.

You mentioned you are locked up because she insisted on it. That presence there is the L (Leadership).

In my opinion, being told to lock up isn't necessarily leading. It's certainly a dominant act, but if that's where it stops, I don't think it counts as true leadership.

My wife gave me clear instructions this morning to lock back up. That felt like her leadership in action—a wise and loving FLR choice if you ask me.