Female led relationships discussion

Hi there. About six months back, I visited this forum looking for guidance after my girlfriend of four years ended things with me. Looking back now, kink played a role in our split, though it wasn’t the sole cause. I only revealed my kinky nature and chastity to her around year two, which I realize was too late. I had good reasons at the time, but I feel that was a significant error.

Recently, I started seeing another girl (we are both 21). It’s going really well. She loves sex, desires it frequently, and even organized a threesome with her best friend (f). Seeing this side of her encouraged me to open up about my enjoyment of BDSM and being sexually submissive (I haven’t brought up chastity yet, haha). She seems to genuinely accept these traits and likes me for who I am. I also mentioned that there was a period when I enjoyed feminization, which she took in stride without any issue—a huge relief for me. Being able to be truthful with her means the world.

She appears keen on exploring femdom but admitted she isn’t entirely sure how it works. That makes sense; she’s young and this is new territory for her. Still, she identifies as a feminist and has that “strong woman” vibe (though perhaps still quite youthful?). I don’t want to force anything down her throat, yet I need to know if we’re compatible. Any thoughts on how to proceed?

I’ve suggested some ideas, such as her tying me up or giving me orders, but nothing extreme. I tried explaining what draws me to D/s dynamics. My goal isn’t to “top from the bottom.” She enjoys it when I massage her feet, which I do happily enough. However, something feels absent. We have a trip coming up this weekend, and I’m considering bringing it up with her? Not completely decided yet…

I’d value any suggestions. Best wishes to everyone.

> LockedByG said: > Hi there. About six months back, I visited this forum looking for guidance after my girlfriend of four years ended things with me. Looking back now, kink played a role in our split, though it wasn't the sole cause. I only revealed my kinky nature and **chastity** to her around year two, which I realize was too late. I had good reasons at the time, but I feel that was a significant error. > > Recently, I started seeing another girl (we are both 21). It's going really well. She loves sex, desires it frequently, and even organized a threesome with her best friend (f). Seeing this side of her encouraged me to open up about my enjoyment of **BDSM** and being sexually **submissive** (I haven't brought up chastity yet, haha). She seems to genuinely accept these traits and likes me for who I am. I also mentioned that there was a period when I enjoyed feminization, which she took in stride without any issue—a huge relief for me. Being able to be truthful with her means the world. > > She appears keen on exploring femdom but admitted she isn't entirely sure how it works. That makes sense; she's young and this is new territory for her. Still, she identifies as a feminist and has that "strong woman" vibe (though perhaps still quite youthful?). I don't want to force anything down her throat, yet I need to know if we're compatible. Any thoughts on how to proceed? > > I've suggested some ideas, such as her tying me up or giving me orders, but nothing extreme. I tried explaining what draws me to D/s dynamics. My goal isn't to "top from the bottom." She enjoys it when I massage her feet, which I do happily enough. However, something feels absent. We have a trip coming up this weekend, and I'm considering bringing it up with her? Not completely decided yet... > > I'd value any suggestions. Best wishes to everyone > Click to expand... If she is indeed the strong woman you describe, and you know she enjoys kink, my advice is to be fully transparent about your lifestyle. Share details of your cage and how you wish to live under her authority. That certainty will help secure your lady. Unexpected surprises can sometimes harm a relationship, as you've experienced yourself. Good luck, and keep us posted.