Female led relationships discussion

We’ve all experienced a partner who is quite high maintenance. Back in college, I dated someone obsessed with her looks. There was no such thing as “casual.” She had to be dressed to the nines and fully made up; otherwise, she wouldn’t go out or entertain guests. To me, this felt very high maintenance because it killed spontaneity and kept her from joining in activities that called for messy clothes. I either had to leave her behind when doing things myself or skip those activities entirely so we could be together.

Recently, my wife and I agreed that I am a high maintenance submissive. Is that an oxymoron? What I mean is, it seems I need her to take charge from a place of strength to keep me feeling submissive. This differs from someone who is naturally just submissive. To give credit where it’s due, I don’t ask for much, but something like a daily reminder really works for me. It could be as simple as kneeling for 30 seconds to kiss her feet or something more involved, but she needs to demand it or start it. If I initiate, it doesn’t work.

Anyway, I figured this might be relatable (or not) for others here, so I’m putting it out there.

> PouchPantyLover said: > Recently, my wife and I agreed that I am a high maintenance submissive. Is that an oxymoron? What I mean is, it seems I need her to take charge from a place of strength to keep me feeling submissive. This differs from someone who is naturally just submissive. To give credit where it’s due, I don’t ask for much, but something like a daily reminder really works for me. It could be as simple as kneeling for 30 seconds to kiss her feet or something more involved, but she needs to demand it or start it. If I initiate, it doesn't work. > Click to expand... You’re a high maintenance submissive in the eyes of fantasists and those who don’t quite grasp how human relationships function. By any reasonable standard though, you sound fairly low maintenance.

I wouldn’t call myself high maintenance, but generally, this dynamic requires a fair amount of emotional effort from her. I don’t strictly need anything specific, yet certain things do help keep progress moving. Ultimately, she has come to enjoy performing them because they elicit the response I like. Some actions would work just fine for me even if she doesn't particularly enjoy doing them; in those cases, she simply skips them. Some routines and rituals can feel like a chore, especially when one isn’t fully invested at times. Yes, there are certainly some submissives who need nothing, expect nothing, and give endlessly. I find that somewhat unrealistic because basic human nature tends to be self-interested. Some people who require nothing still get value from serving, even if their dominant partner is doing little for them.