Female led relationships discussion

One aspect of FLR that I struggle to fully understand is the dynamic between wife and husband. How can you be loving, caring, affectionate, and compassionate towards someone while simultaneously taking sadistic pleasure in inflicting various torments and humiliations on them? In my view, it’s often the submissive partner who initiates this dynamic and remains subject to punishment and control at a moment’s notice. It still puzzles me how one can do all this to a person they love and respect, and whether the sub is truly enjoying their suffering willingly or if they are enslaved by it like an addiction. When dealing with a professional domme, these questions don’t arise as much; it’s a transactional service without the deep bond found in real-life FLR couples. It really fascinates me.

Let's be honest: everything is messy and no one will ever truly sort it out: )

> L-u-c-y said: > Let's be honest: everything is messy and no one will ever truly sort it out: ) > Click to expand... Spot on. Most relationships don't feature a true sadistic Domme. It’s more about applying what both partners enjoy and weaving that into a loving relationship to enhance love and respect.

> eoniss said: > One aspect of FLR that I struggle to fully understand is the dynamic between wife and husband. How can you be loving, caring, affectionate, and compassionate towards someone while simultaneously taking sadistic pleasure in inflicting various torments and humiliations on them? In my view, it’s often the submissive partner who initiates this dynamic and remains subject to punishment and control at a moment's notice. It still puzzles me how one can do all this to a person they love and respect, and whether the sub is truly enjoying their suffering willingly or if they are enslaved by it like an addiction. When dealing with a professional domme, these questions don't arise as much; it’s a transactional service without the deep bond found in real-life FLR couples. It really fascinates me. > Click to expand... The key word here is relationship! If you live together or are married and understand how each other ticks, and both of you are "into FLR", then it works! You genuinely do love each other along with the dynamics involved! Hope that clarifies things!

I’m the sub; she is the dom. I live to serve and please her, while she lives and loves being pleased and served. I am also a masochist—I get aroused by certain types of pain—and she is a sadist who gets turned on causing it. We are a perfect match!

@eoniss, what you’ve described doesn't necessarily define an FLR. The type of relationship many of us here are interested in—and hopefully practicing—doesn’t need to include sadism or humiliation (or any other '-ism' for that matter) to be a happy, healthy, creative, and highly functional blend based on the core belief that feminine wisdom is a useful guide for living a worthwhile life. In an FLR, both partners view males as being born to serve women. That is the basic philosophical foundation from which many levels of Female Leadership can be structured. Goddess Lucy's recent thread regarding Female Government essentially depicts an FLR moving to a higher level—the logical progression of empowered women once society starts embracing and comprehending the benefits for everyone. The wide variety of kinks available may or may not play a part in an FLR, just as they do in any other type of relationship. I am in a strong FLR and have been for years, yet I am definitely not a masochist, nor is my partner a sadist. Over time, we’ve found that chastity (I don’t use a device, although I’ve practiced long-term retention for many years) has been hugely beneficial to my awareness of her needs as well as my general attentiveness and obedience. These attitudes would exist within me anyway, but chastity helps polish them to perfection (as my Goddess puts it). On the other hand, if your Mistress and you have agreed that public humiliation and scolding benefit you both, then I’m happy for you two. That is also an FLR.