Female led relationships discussion

My slave/boyfriend of approaching one year is now begging to give me his salary and for me to then give him an allowance. We started the FLR a few months back. I should add that we have known each other since circa 2003/2004. I’m a bit overwhelmed. I know he is desperate to do it as he wants to be totally subservient and serve me. However I just can’t help feel I’d be taking advantage of him. I’ve suggested that for now we go to a bank and set up a joint bank account..I’m moving in with him next month so that makes sense anyway. He is begging to be in a position whereby he gets his salary paid straight into my bank account and I let him have pocket money. Do any other keyholders feel this way? Should I just embrace it? I’m worried it’s going too deep too soon and could ruin our relationship if he suddenly becomes resentful of me having control of his money and I start loving it!

If you don't do it he will be resentful, if you do do it he might end up being resentful. At least he can change his mind if he decided he doesn't like it. Many couples have joint bank accounts, it's not much different.: )

I had a joint account with my ex husband, so you are right. Am just conscious it's quite a big deal - him giving me control over his money. He's better with money than I am, which makes it even more of a big deal:oops: I'll tell him we can set up a joint account and tell him to draft a plan as to what he is begging to do and work to make it a reality as much is feasible.

My wife/owner takes my salary and gives me an allowance. She completely controls all finances. I earn more money than her, but I am bad with money. She loves the control and me having to ask for my weekly allowance.

> GoddessG said: > My slave/boyfriend of approaching one year is now begging to give me his salary and for me to then give him an allowance. We started the FLR a few months back. I should add that we have known each other since circa 2003/2004. > I'm a bit overwhelmed. I know he is desperate to do it as he wants to be totally subservient and serve me. However I just can't help feel I'd be taking advantage of him. > I've suggested that for now we go to a bank and set up a joint bank account..I'm moving in with him next month so that makes sense anyway. > He is begging to be in a position whereby he gets his salary paid straight into my bank account and I let him have pocket money. > Do any other keyholders feel this way? Should I just embrace it? I'm worried it's going too deep too soon and could ruin our relationship if he suddenly becomes resentful of me having control of his money and I start loving it! > Click to expand... Hello, I am not a KH,but I am a loving sub in a FLM. My KH, wife, Goddess is much better at controlling the finances than I am. She is in control of the bills and what money we spend. That said, we do have a joint account, and we both have a debit card. I have to have a real good reason to use the debit card, and with her having the banking app on her phone . She gets notified the minute the card is used. So there is no sneaking so to speek. Her taking over the finances was one of the best things to happen to me since I have been locked . So my advice is to move in a take total control of every aspect of his life . If he starts to complain, just look him straight into his eyes, and remind him that he asked for this . You will also find that you being in control will bring a stronger bond between the two of you, that to this day is very hard to explain . Your really starting into a journey for both, so enjoy it . Just remember to keep a firm attitude, and if your boyfriend is a true submissive he will fall in line . Hope my finance story helps with the doubts you are having .

First thing you need to consider is, what do YOU want? My wife and I have always had joint accounts, but she insists I handle the finances, so I do. He should understand to not pressure you for anything, especially his wants/needs. He offered that up when you chose to accept his invitation to hold his key. It takes time for that aspect to sink in, sometimes. Good luck to you both.

Ive > Blue Moon said: > First thing you need to consider is, what do YOU want? My wife and I have always had joint accounts, but she insists I handle the finances, so I do. He should understand to not pressure you for anything, especially his wants/needs. He offered that up when you chose to accept his invitation to hold his key. It takes time for that aspect to sink in, sometimes. Good luck to you both. > Click to expand... I've told him off recently for saying 'I want' then a list of wants (he will be getting his balls whipped when I see him next because of it) I want a joint account for logistical purposes, it will make sense for bills etc once I move in. I'm just conscious that he is better with money than I am. I'm thinking that if he has his salary paid into a joint account, we can pay the mortgage/bills and food etc from there. He can then transfer a bit out for spending money leaving the bulk in the joint account, and him not using the joint account for anything personal to him. That way I don't have sole control over our financial security, and relies on spending money it being transferred to him. I love that he wants to provide for me, I truly truly do. I feel as if I'm being ungrateful. It's just the thought of being in charge of the finances when its what he is best at I am not comfortable with. I will tell him that we will do the above and he can be grateful.

> GoddessG said: > I will tell him that we will do the above and he can be grateful. > Click to expand... I think you're making a wise decision. You are acknowledging and embracing his desire, but doing so on your terms. You should not do something that makes you uncomfortable. He should be grateful for the extent you've gone to and the thought you've put into this. If it falls within your comfort limits I would suggest questioning his purchases every once in awhile. It will reinforce your level of control and that is (it sounds like) what you both want.

I'd suggest that you set things up so that he keeps meticulous books. Thereby knows where all money is coming from and going to. With you as sole signatory on the joint account. You as the CEO, keep him on a low, fixed, personal allowance of pocket-money. That goes into an account in his name. Thereafter you decides on priorities, but listening to his feedback as to how to achieve them. That way, you both understand fully what is going on, both have an input, but you have the casting vote. That should settle the trust issues that may otherwise creep in to unsettle the bond between you. [That wa the way wealthy Victorians managed their money, albeit the other way around.] How does that fly for you? Guy

Depending on what you might want to do controlling the money could be a lot of extra work for you and unpractical at best (what might happens if you have an accident and he does not have access to the bank account?)... Here is what we do: As I have to travel a lot and my wife is not looking for unnecessary work we agreed that I have total access of my own as well as our shared money. Should I want to spend more than 50€ on something that is not part of day to day life or that is not absolutely necessary I would have to ask her first ( even if the money would be from my personal account). Most of this is trust base - especially as I also manage our real properties as well as our shares mostly on my own, but trust me - having something new- let it be some clothes or a gadget would come out rather sooner than later...;) And should she want to do a closer inspecion on our accounts she could do it as well even though she could not really 'access' the money on my own account without a certain need...