Female led relationships discussion

A couple of weeks back we had one of our spin-outs. I feel like too many have happened in quick succession, and this time feels distinct. Part of it seems tied to her new role, and part to the final stretch of summer vacations for the kids along with the typical rush to keep their schedules full while maintaining ours. We’ll see where things head next.

I was thinking about this when I woke up today, comparing my daily routine Then (under FLR) versus Now (without FLR).

Then - I rise 15 minutes before her scheduled wake-up time. Downstairs to start the coffee and load the blender with smoothie ingredients, but leave it unstarted. Bring her coffee at its appointed hour (typically 6 AM) and gently rouse her. Return downstairs to finish the family’s smoothies. Pack her go-bag: thermos of coffee, hydroflask of fizzy water, snack, lunch, and utensils. Ensure the kids are up and fed enough. Ask permission to shower.

Now - I wake when my body tells me (usually 6–6:30 AM). Coffee making is a fifty-fifty split these days, with everyone serving themselves. I still blend smoothies most mornings. I take my shower after enjoying one.

Then - Post-shower, I lubricate the base ring and put on panties and pants. Make the bed and check if laundry needs starting. Verify she’s happy with all preparations and ask about any assignments for the day. If tasked, drive the kids to school. Return home and tidy the kitchen. Have a second coffee before heading to my office.

Now - Post-shower, I put on boxers and pants. The bed hasn’t been made in two weeks; what’s the point if we’re just going to mess it up later? We negotiate child duties, leaning 60/40 toward me since I work from home while she commutes. If someone else cooked, they clean the kitchen; otherwise, I do. Second coffee and then into my office.

Then - Mid-morning text check-in with her regarding dinner instructions and timing. Ask if she needs anything from the store. Prepare a shopping list based on her directions. Handle laundry as needed. Visit job sites to monitor progress and attend meetings. Shop on the way home if necessary. Return to the office until it’s time for kids’ pickup (if assigned) or continue working until dinner prep begins.

Now - I sometimes check in just to say hello, letting her know when dinner will be ready so she knows what time to get home. Confirm who is handling kid pickups. Visit job sites and attend meetings as usual. Shop on the way back if needed. Return to the office for kids’ pickup (if agreed) or keep working until it’s time to start making dinner.

Then - Prepare dinner, set the table, and attend to her pre-dinner needs like a drink or clearing work dishes. I always serve her meal. After eating, clean everything up and prepare tomorrow’s coffee. Attend to post-dinner requirements for both of us and ensure the kids are ready for bed. Once they’re down, ask if she needs anything—often ranging from foot rubs to dessert delivery. Everything finished? Ask permission to sit with her while watching TV. The answer varies between yes or a reminder that another task (like taking out trash) awaits. I usually get reprimanded and assigned strokes for any oversights during the day. If allowed, we watch what she chooses.

Now - Make dinner and announce when it’s ready. She or the kids set the table; everyone serves themselves. Since I cook, cleaning falls to others, though I help a bit. Usually retire to the porch with wine. Help guide the kids toward bedtime. Turn on TV once they are asleep. If she joins me, we watch something mutually liked; otherwise, I enjoy my own choice.

Then - Not allowed into bed before her. Once she announces going up, I immediately start prep: walk dogs outside, kennel the puppy, ensure lights off, doors locked, driveway gate closed, and alarm set. Brush teeth, re-lubricate base ring, then come to bed. Every evening I ask, “Mistress may I have the privilege of pleasuring you?” The only exception is if she’s asleep; waking her results in immediate slaps or assigned strokes. Going to bed without asking while she’s awake also brings punishment. If lucky enough for a yes, I fetch her toys, close our door, and provide an orgasm. Then cleanup, open the door, climb into bed where I lie awake, aching from the cage’s confines.

Now - Go to bed when tired (roughly 60/40 chance she is first). Walk dogs rarely—usually only if she’s ill or something comes up; I’d prefer not having them since they are her idea and responsibility. Ensure lights off as I seem to be the only one in this house who can find a light switch. Check doors are locked. Alarm and gate remain her ideas—if she wants them, she handles it; otherwise fine by me. She usually does everything but the lights if sleeping before me, ensuring they’re done. If we share bed wakefulness, I often try to initiate intimacy. Her receptiveness has been low—I wonder why?:rolleyes:

Then - For after-hours work or social activities, I asked permission. Granted leave meant checking if she wanted a meal prepared for her and the kids before following instructions.

Now - Unless she has plans, I schedule mine with at least a few days’ notice. They can manage their own meals.

Then - She would simply state I’d be out late on specific nights. No questioning what she was doing; expected to ask if there was anything I could do to help her have a pleasant evening. Sometimes tasked preparing a dish for her party, or picking up wine. Regardless of how late she returned, I stayed up to greet her.

Now - She has freedom to make plans as I do, but I expect knowledge of what they are and when she returns. Happy to care for the kids anytime she needs a break.

Then - Weekends meant rising at 6 AM for a sumptuous breakfast in bed delivered exactly at 8 AM unless instructed otherwise. Saturday involved part-days in the office plus catching up on laundry and undone chores from the week. Sunday was spent shopping and prepping food for the coming days.

Now - On weekends, I wake when I want (on Sundays). Still work Saturdays so don’t sleep too late then. Helped put away folded laundry but haven’t run a load in weeks. Do some weekly food prep whenever mood strikes.

One might assume that with such a list, the current state is much better than the past. Honestly, it is in many ways: I’m more rested, work productivity has improved, and let’s admit it; laundry is dreadful. Yet I feel like something prized was lost. If this is permanent, I can say it was fun while it lasted, affirming still having a great wife and life. Alternatively, maybe this is just another hill on our roller coaster ride. Perhaps that chain pulls me slowly upward only to send me rocketing off into the loop. Only time will tell.