Introductions discussion

Hi all. I’m really happy to have stumbled upon this community and would love some guidance, particularly from guys who live in permanent chastity as a way of life.

My wife is very keen on putting me into a device, and even though I am naturally submissive, I’m holding back on agreeing.

I can probably get used to the hygiene and comfort aspects, which are slightly bothersome. My main worry is that I’ve never known sexual frustration before, so I fear it will sour my mood. Has anyone else experienced this? What’s your experience like when you crave release but don’t have it? Do you ever regret saying yes? I’ve read stories about men deepening their submission to their keyholders, which appeals to me greatly, but I’m scared the frustration might make me irritable and put a strain on our bond. Am I overthinking this?

A bit of context: I’m 53 and have been married for 31 years. My wife and Ms. Z (as I’ll call her) have always had some degree of D/s dynamic, often quite intense. For more than two decades we’ve run a home business, meaning we were together constantly, allowing my wife to maintain a tightly controlled Femdom atmosphere for most of my life.

Eight years ago, we both connected with another dominant woman who moved in. I’ll call her Ms. D. We live as a committed triad, and I am fully submissive to both women. Ms. D and I frequently go to fetish conventions together; our favorite is Dark Odyssey Fusion in Maryland. Say hello if you’ve spotted me there—I’m the guy hauling the rickshaw with reins attached to my genitals.

Five years ago, I took over running the home business so Ms. Z could return to school to qualify as a marriage and family therapist, as well as a licensed sex therapist. This transition was tough for me; I went from constant companionship to rarely seeing her at all.

My household role is one of total servitude. I handle all cooking and cleaning, though Ms. D assists occasionally. At home, I’m not permitted to wear clothes or use the furniture. If I need to rest rather than stand, I kneel on the floor. I don’t have my own money either; Ms. Z sold my car four years ago. To go anywhere or do anything, I must ask permission, which is only granted if I show extreme respect and complete all my chores first. Mistakes result in consequences, usually caning, sometimes worse.

Since Ms. Z now works outside the house, she can’t watch me as closely as before and has begun researching chastity devices. We’ve experimented with them previously. I bought a CB2000 when it launched and later one from Vice by Locked in Lust, but found both too easy to escape.

Initially, Ms. Z looked at devices using Lori’s PA piercing system and also liked the metal Orion Evotions model. After doing some reading, I mentioned that getting pierced didn’t appeal much to me. She accepted this, noting she wasn’t fond of the cage aesthetic anyway. Her concern was that if I had any access—even just enough for a Q-tip—I’d never stop playing with it.

She continued her search and settled on Neosteel. She likes how fully contains my penis so effectively it’s almost as if it isn’t there yet. While she hasn’t picked the specific model, she knows she wants one with a hip belt and has already bought the measuring kit.

Here are her terms: She will purchase a Neosteel belt and give me about a month to adjust. Then I must surrender my keys to both Ms. Z and Ms. D. Her wording was precise: “I know you’ll want out as soon as I lock you in so you don’t need to ask, in fact, I will forbid you from asking to be freed or even mentioning your chastity belt in any context unless we specifically ask you about it first.” She added that if I truly want out, I must devote myself to making them happy…very, very happy. Ms. D chimed in: “Don’t forget horny! He needs to make us happy and horny.” “Yes,” confirmed Ms. Z, “You make us VERY happy and VERY horny and basically make us WANT to let you out and your penis will have lots of play time, but if we’re bored with you or displeased even slightly, you’re going to stay right there in your tiny little box while we go off and enjoy sex ourselves.” She also reserved the right to stop me from touching my penis ever again. She likes the idea of restraining my hands before unlocking the device, then playing with me or cleaning me etc., locking me back up before uncuffing me.

That’s where things stand. While I appear to live like a slave, our relationship remains consensual; if I say no, she will respect that. However, she made it clear this is my only chance to refuse. She allows a safeword, but using it merely permits speech about the device, not its removal. If challenges arise after purchase, I must accept them and learn to cope. As she put it: “If you give us the keys, we will NEVER give them back!”

So…should I say yes?

On one hand, horny tension tends to stabilize after a few weeks and you reach a zen state - I've done 11 months. On the other hand, a full belt might present issues for long-term wear, particularly regarding your back.

Wow, your life sounds fascinating. I would definitely go for it; it seems the next logical step. Good luck

You need more than a month to acclimate and decide whether you're locked forever after. Based on your personal experience, I think you should be open to it, but I also think getting a good fit is very difficult, and forever is a long time.