Female led relationships discussion

Dear everyone, First off - thank you for your wonderful effort, this forum has been incredibly helpful in helping me understand this new lifestyle and I feel confident about my role as the keyholder. However, there are still some parts that trip me up and I haven’t found another thread addressing exactly this issue yet, so I opened a new one. Here’s what I mean: it feels like my boyfriend experiences heavy mood swings because of the chastity cage. While wearing it, he is incredibly caring and lovable, but once released—and even after being allowed to orgasm—I notice he becomes much more aggressive and argumentative. Is this normal? We started exploring chastity initially because he was a bit too provocative (and dominant!) in general. I’m not easily scared off, but if this continues, I really don’t think it’s right for us because honestly I don’t want to lock him up permanently (just yet) and I also don’t feel like dealing with him compensating or taking revenge while locked up. I found some info about sub drop, but that doesn’t quite seem to be what he has. Any insights on this? Thanks a lot. Lyriseitia

The heavy mood swings aren't caused by the chastity cage itself. It's clearly due to the orgasms you allow him to have. As can be read from various threads on this forum, I am also not kept in locked chastity permanently by my love. However, mentally I have been chaste since early this year. My mental changes are significant because she controls my orgasms completely. Rarely does she give me a full release. After she learned about ruining my orgasms, that change of behavior after orgasm stopped occurring. So, permanent chastity isn't just about locking up and using the cage all the time. For me, it is dominantly about the mental conditioning where orgasms are fully controlled by my love and my need to serve her grows bigger every day. Good luck!

Thanks for the quick reply. So you see yourself a little in that state before your love ruined the orgasms? I do it sometimes, but does she always do it?

I have to agree, it’s less about the chastity and more about orgasm control. I find my mindset changes after an orgasm; it’s not a deliberate change but it is there all the same. I’ve found that orgasm denial, milking, and even ruined orgasms seem to avoid having the same mindset shift. Not sure why the ruined orgasm works too, I discovered that by accident. Though there is another layer of frustration for me with ruined orgasms lol.

My love ruins or denies my orgasms almost always. Full releases are very rare. The last one was 7 weeks ago and since I became chaste (Feb 2019), I can only remember maxing out at 3 or 4 full releases. With me, ruining does absolutely not result in that changed behavior. However, I agree with @CuriousJay that there is another level of frustration. After my last full release, my love discovered this big change in behavior and also I was 'seeking' for about a week to get my feelings back on track. Honestly, we both didn't enjoy it. To understand the 'mental part of the game', I must say that Georgia Ivy Green's books 'A Keyholder’s Handbook' and 'How to Setup an FLR' helped me a lot in understanding the mental aspect and importance of all this. You can get these books from the web (there are free downloads available).