Female led relationships discussion

The thread title is an old derogatory remark aimed at women who had sex before marriage. Here, I am the cow, and it fits a dilemma I’m facing. My wife essentially abandoned chastity and our FLR in late November. She has occasionally mentioned getting me back under control, but nothing serious or followed through on that time. That shifted when she left me a note recently. Basically, it said I should lock up and submit to her. It was presented as her gift to me, with no expectations placed on herself. The note went on longer; I am paraphrasing. I know some here would give away one or both testicles for such a note. For me, given our history though, it is quite off-putting. First, I know her well enough to know that without an expectation on her, she will do nothing. I’ll be locked and forgotten, which I can’t live with. Second, submission is something you give, not receive. Being submissive isn’t about being powerless; it’s the conscious choice to grant power to someone worthy. Lastly, she hasn’t addressed my desire to discuss why she stopped initially. This fits her personality as a non-verbal communicator. When we were in sync leading the FLR lifestyle before, I pampered her greatly and was highly deferential. She likely just wants that treatment back but doesn’t want to acknowledge my needs as a submissive. Simply put, she doesn’t want to buy the cow; she just wants free milk. I respectfully declined under these terms. I told her I am happy to return to being her submissive once we communicate more about what this involves and why it failed last time. Naturally, she isn’t keen on talking about it.:mad: Interestingly, the longer I go without being locked up and subservient, the more like a weird dream it feels. The idea that denial of sex, doing 90% of household/parenting duties, and enduring humiliation and degradation made me happy seems strange. These aren’t exactly “good” things. Why would I want that? Perhaps it is my way of coping with loss? We still love each other deeply, which matters more than all this anyway.

Why buy the pig when you can get the sausage for free? Eh!