Female led relationships discussion

Hi, We are currently experiencing a dip in our Female Led Relationship (FLR) for several reasons. Since we began exploring female dominance, I’ve realized I have an intense fetish for my wife’s orgasms (if that term exists!). She knows well that I would pleasure her however she wants and as often as she wishes.

She needs a vibrator to climax during missionary sex. That was our primary sexual activity before we started looking into an FLR. I never minded this, but it doesn’t happen much anymore now. Most of the time, she climaxes while I “play with her,” and if I orgasm, it happens after she is satisfied. Usually, this involves me using various vibrators on her. She seems to prefer when I place the vibrator against her clit while stimulating her G-spot with my fingers—without any cock stimulation. We do this at least once per session. The next most common method is cunnilingus. However, she doesn’t always climax that way, and sometimes she asks me to stop so we can switch back to the vibrator technique. I also bring her to orgasms by fingering her clit, which works almost every time.

She experiences some INTENSE climaxes in the woman-on-top position. This is undoubtedly my favorite: I don’t come this way (I have super endurance); I love the sensations; I enjoy watching her ride me; the focus is on her getting off, and I am essentially just a human dildo; and when she does climax, it feels intense. I’m fairly certain that her best orgasms occur in the cowgirl position.

In all other activities, if an orgasm isn’t “happening,” it’s no big deal, and we default to me fingering her and applying the vibrator to her clit. But with woman-on-top, if she doesn’t climax, the session is as good as over for her. She has even cried because she gets so upset if she fails to get off. She won’t let me do anything else; she’s done. She usually “allows” me to finish in missionary (I don’t think she has ever denied me yet, but that would be fine too!), which typically takes only about thirty seconds since I am quite turned on by then. It really sucks for me because she just wants me to get off her as she is not interested at all.

Finally: my question. I can’t relate to this behavior at all. Can the ladies explain it to me? Why is failing to climax while on top so traumatic for her? My attitude has always been that sex is “adult play time,” and sometimes the game doesn’t go as expected, but you grin, laugh about it, and finish off with us both being “winners.” For reasons I can’t explain, the rules are totally different for this specific act. She rarely does it for this reason. It seems to be a “high risk/high reward” activity; things can be fantastic or terrible.

Can anyone suggest why she acts this way? Is there anything I can do to help tilt the odds in favor of her climax?