Female led relationships discussion

I recently spoke with a friend who asked if I was topping from the bottom. I initially said no, but then it got me thinking that maybe I do without realizing it. From what I understand, topping from the bottom happens when the sub tries to control the dom. If anyone can clarify this for me further, please feel free to chime in. Anyway, I discussed this with my Mistress and she mentioned that I try to dictate how I should be controlled and dominated, which made her quite displeased—though perhaps rightly so since it was a good thing we shouted, talked, discussed, and then listened and agreed. It cleared the air between us. As a new couple in the lifestyle, we are learning from our mistakes, but the key point is that we are enjoying the journey together. I would appreciate any advice or opinions from anyone who has had similar experiences.