Female led relationships discussion

My wife and I have an agreement that for the next 90 days I will be locked in and she will be in charge of when (if) I get any relief. One of the rules is that I’m not to ask for release and that she is not required to tell me when she is thinking of letting me out. It’s only been four days but I desperately want to ask her if she would be willing to let me out and fool around. I asked her on day two and she punished me by sending me to the treadmill to run. But I have an urge to ask her anyway. Maybe she won’t punish me this time. Why am I so weak? Does anyone else have this problem? Sometimes I’m at peace with it and I can let go … realizing that it’s not my choice any more … but other times I catch myself all tense in my groin and upper legs. If I focus, I can relax but then I notice I go back to being tense down there. Sometimes I find myself thinking to telling her to just throw the damn key away because maybe it would make it easier for me to resign myself to the situation. Other times I want to demand (politely of course;) ) that she remove it. This is only our third (fourth maybe) go around at chastity. I’ve found that in some ways it has been easier this time but in others it’s still damn difficult. When I sit and think - really think - about things I know deep down that I’m wired to serve her and that this is what I want. I also know that she does truly enjoy me in chastity a lot. So… I go back to — why am I so weak? Sigh. Thanks for “listening”.