Introductions discussion

Hello all! I’ve been living in this hidden corner of my existence for more than a year now, and at just eighteen, it’s quite tough for several reasons. First off, my mind is focused on masturbation and sexual cravings about ninety-five percent of the time. Secondly, being 18 means activities with friends, family, and work clash completely with my secret lifestyle. Right now I’m wearing a pretty rough but effective contraption made from a handcuff and some metal piping. I really like the concept of staying locked, yet every time I try for an extended lock-up period, I usually fail because of that urge to masturbate. I have a deep affection for all things feminine—perhaps I’m somewhat sissy-like? I keep myself completely shaved down below and on my thighs. The desire to shave even more is overwhelming, though others might notice and ask those awkward questions.. So yeahhh anyway hi folks:) x