Explicit rules are the only place I have ever been able to relax

I am autistic and the reason I want this is not the one people assume. It is not that I want to be relieved of thinking. It is that explicit rules are the only environment I have ever been in where I could actually relax, because I was not spending the entire evening guessing what was expected of me.

Thirty four, south of the river, I work in data, I live alone with a routine that keeps me well and which I am not giving up. Two dynamics behind me, one of eight months and one of three years.

What works for me is instructions that say what, when and to what standard. Correction that names the thing rather than expecting me to infer it from a tone of voice. Notice of changes when notice is possible. What does not work is being tested with hints, or being told that I should know, because very often I do not and I have stopped pretending otherwise to be polite.

In return you get somebody who does not forget, does not need reminding, and is straightforwardly delighted by a routine other people would find restrictive. The thing my last partner said she liked best was that she never had to check.

I am not fragile about any of this and I am not asking for much beyond plain speech. Not looking for anything with a great deal of unstructured socialising in it. Not looking for a woman who wants to surprise me as a treat. Not looking to be anybody's education in autism, which I have been twice and which is exhausting.