Four nights on, four off, and my Sunday is often a Wednesday

I work nights, four on and four off, which means my Sunday is frequently a Wednesday and my evening can be eleven in the morning. Every dynamic I have had has run into this and two of them died of it, so I am putting it where you cannot miss it.

Thirty four, east London, I am a nurse, I have led in three relationships and I am eight years into knowing that I want to. On the four off I am completely available and awake at hours nobody else is. On the four on I am not really a person.

What that suits is a man with an odd schedule of his own, or one who works from home, or somebody who genuinely likes having a weekday afternoon claimed. What it does not suit is a man whose availability is Friday night, since Friday night is precisely when I am at my least human.

The dynamic I want is a real relationship with clear structure inside it. I am practical rather than theatrical. I like rules that solve actual problems, I check in properly, and I am blunt about correction because I am blunt about everything at work and it does not switch off at the door.

Not looking for anyone who needs daily contact regardless of my shifts. Not looking for a man who tells me nurses are his thing, which happens about once a fortnight and disqualifies him in the same sentence. Not looking for something that lives only in the evenings, because I have very few of those.