He asked me on a car journey nineteen years into the marriage

He asked me on a car journey, nineteen years into the marriage, and then apologised for the next three weeks until I told him to stop apologising and let me think. That was six years ago. I have run our household ever since and I would not go back to the old arrangement for anything.

Fifty one and fifty three, north Jersey, married twenty five years, two children who have both left home. The house is quieter than it has been in two decades and this is what we have done with the quiet.

What we would like is other couples in the same position, ideally a little further along than us, and ideally close enough that a Saturday dinner is not a logistical operation. We have no interest in playing with anybody. We would like to talk to adults who understand what we are describing without any of it needing to be explained twice.

The honest part: the first two years were exciting and the four since have been ordinary, and the ordinary is far better. He handles the house. I handle everything else. We argue about the same things we always argued about, except that now there is a way for the argument to finish.

Not looking for a third, ever. Not looking to attend anything. Not looking for a couple who want to instruct us, because we managed on our own and what we are short of is company rather than a curriculum.