I am in another state four nights a week and the structure has to survive it

I am on a site in another state from Monday morning until late on Thursday, every week, and have been for four years. That is the fact which ends most conversations here, so it goes at the top rather than in the middle. Three nights a week at home is not much to build a household on, and I have watched two promising conversations work that out in silence and simply stop.

Thirty five, Brooklyn, a project engineer, one dynamic of two years behind me that was run almost entirely out of hotel rooms.

What that taught me is that the distance is only fatal when the structure lives in the room. Ours did not. There were duties for the days away, a written report each night before eleven, and a standing call on Wednesdays that could not be moved for anything, and by the end the away half of the week felt more governed than the home half did.

I want that again, with the weekend part being ordinary and domestic rather than a compressed performance of a whole relationship. Standing duties, real correction, and a woman who does not treat my absence as a reason to loosen anything.

Not looking for a woman who needs presence to feel it is real, which is entirely reasonable and rules this out. Not looking for something that only happens on Saturdays. Not looking to be asked every few months whether the job might change, because it will not until the contract ends and that is not this year.