You have had forty of these today, so this one will cost you very little

You have probably had forty of these today, so I will make this cost you as little as possible. Thirty four, Queens, structural engineer, free most evenings, and I am not going to tell you a single thing about what I like until you have decided whether I am a person worth the time.

I write it this way because I spent a year writing the other way and got two replies, both from people who wanted to sell me something. The problem was never that my messages were bad. It was that they were the same as everybody else's, and there is no way to be heard by being marginally better at an identical thing.

So here is a life instead. I moved here nine years ago for a job I still have and still like. I have a sister a few stops away and I see her every Sunday without fail. I cook badly and I am improving slowly. I read on the train and I have not owned a television since college.

What I want, stated once and then left alone: a relationship where a woman leads and where I am useful to her in ways that would be tedious to list. I have done it once, for three years, ending when she moved for work and I did not follow, which I have thought about a great deal since.

Not looking to be evaluated on how fast I can be obedient to a stranger. Not looking for anything at a weekend gathering. Not looking to be told my message was refreshing and then never hear from you again, which has happened three times and is somehow worse than silence.