The only one I have had started at a desk, and I do not know how to do it the normal way

The only dynamic I have ever had began at a job. We sat facing each other for three years, became friends, stayed friends after I left, and then one evening about eighteen months later she said something I have thought about roughly weekly ever since. There was no approach, no first message, and no board.

It ran four years and ended when she got seriously ill, got better, and decided she wanted her life arranged very differently. I did not argue with that then and I do not now.

Forty one, Brooklyn, I work in publishing production, I live alone, and I have the least dramatic life of anybody I know.

So my honest problem is that I have no idea how to do this the ordinary way. Everything I have is evidence that it works when two people already know each other, and I cannot compress three years of somebody watching me be unremarkable into a message. This post is my attempt, and I am aware it is not going brilliantly.

What I want is a woman who leads, in something long, and I would genuinely rather begin as friends and see what happens. Not looking to be anybody's project. Not looking for a fast start. Not looking for anyone who reads friendship first as a sign that I am not serious, because it is the only version of this I have ever watched succeed.