Three dynamics, three identical endings, all of them my doing

Three dynamics, three identical endings, all of them my fault in exactly the same way. I got what I had been asking for, and then somewhere around month seven I went quiet and cold and eventually left. I am putting that at the top because if I bury it I will do it a fourth time to somebody who did not deserve it.

Forty three, Manhattan, I work in commercial real estate, no children, divorced once long before any of this started.

My best guess at the mechanism, after two years of therapy and a great deal of unpleasant thinking, is that I want to be wanted and I do not know what to do once I have been. Wanting is the part I am good at. Having is where I have failed every time, and I no longer believe that a different woman fixes it by herself.

So what I am looking for is not quite the usual thing. Somebody who would take that seriously as a structural problem, build a check in around exactly it, and name it in month six rather than being blindsided in month eight. If that sounds like more work than a stranger is worth, I would completely understand.

What I can offer meanwhile is competence, a stable life of my own, real time, and an unusual willingness to be told uncomfortable things. Not looking for someone to repair me. Not looking to be reassured the pattern will not repeat, because nobody can promise that. Not looking for anything casual, since casual is precisely what I am trying to stop doing.