I once asked a woman her rates, and she was right to take me apart

Early on, I asked a woman what her rates were. I was not being crude and I was not trying to insult anybody. I genuinely did not know the two things were different, because almost everything I had ever seen about women who lead had money in it somewhere. She explained, at length, and she was entirely right to.

That was four years ago and I have thought about it since more than she would believe. What I had done was turn up as a customer. Not with a wallet out, but with the posture: what do you offer, what does it cost, what do I get. It took me about a year to understand that the posture was the problem, not the question.

Thirty eight, north Jersey, I work in freight, I have a truck and I do not mind the drive in, which I know still puts me at a disadvantage on a board where distance is the first filter anybody applies.

What I want now is to be useful to somebody and to be led, in a relationship, over years. Nothing is for sale in either direction and I would decline it if it were offered, having already learned that lesson at somebody else's expense.

Not looking for a woman who wants to be pursued with presents. Not looking for absolution from strangers, since I am not asking for any, only saying what I got wrong in case it saves someone else a year. Not looking for anything that has to end with me back over the bridge by eleven.